how do you survive the pain when every time you look at a tree you think of her so many trees so many trees so many trees or when you sit at home and look around to see what you come home for only to find emptiness and non-existence and void or live in fantasy when you close your eyes and sex is her and she is sex and every corner of every room is a reflection of her perfection in form and in your very own mixed mind

how do you cope when you look in the mirror and the reflection is the reality of hate and disgust and void and total insignificance where hell and the fantasy of that hell is the closest such myth could ever come to a reality bound by the same restraints that bind you to the notion that nothing is ever as it should be in a time where acceptance is merely a giving in of what you know is not the way to move whether upward downward forward backward or side to side in a swaying motion like a tide that can never really make up it’s mind of crushing waves and swirling thoughts and emotions and beliefs where no way is the right way to go

this is me

this is you

this is what it is

shoot me now like a rabid dog just place your foot on my neck your gun on my temple and pull that trigger put me down like the dog I am and don’t ever grieve for what you have done because for once you have done us all the favour that so long has needed to be done don’t fret don’t cry don’t bang your fists against your broken heart because other hearts are broken too and the constant thud thud thud of your self destruct will only cause a headache too great to cure and too difficult to endure and me I am like a dried up pen void of any real substance other than that of an ugly and hard exterior shell good only to sit in the bottom of a waste paper basket waiting to be destroyed or recycled dependant on the mood of he or she or it or them or whatever darkness or light may dare to find me

god I miss her…

Leave a Reply