I Wonder

[re-post]

the mother lays he child’s head against a soft pillow
as the armies move forth
on the unsuspecting

the entrepreneur orders his second bottle of
$100 shiraz
as the homeless guy who lives in the alley
next to that very restaurant
scrounges the bin for scraps
[anything will do as long as it has
some aspect of
solidity]

the teenagers
crowding
around the square
are oblivious to the
crack whore
who now kneels in front of the
business man
behind the fountain
mouthing for a few
dollars
to buy another hit
survive another night
in hell

and all this time
the crazy poet
sits
in his dark corner of the world
repeating endlessly to himself
I wonder
I wonder
I wonder

Life by a Thread

With one hand gripping the cold metal rail behind me, my other interlocks with yours. I’m stretched to full extent and straining. I hurt like no other time in my life. Every muscle. My temples feel as though they have been jabbed repeatedly with a sharp instrument. I’m not truly sure, but I think I might be crying. Is that through pain or is it through shame?

Continue reading Life by a Thread

Of You

[re-post]

I still think about you

Most of the time it’s
Late at night
While the room is
Dark
And my tears
Can remain hidden

We had such a good time
Together
The adventures
The sex
The alcohol

We drank too much

Then you turned to the drugs

Light stuff at first
Then
The heavy stuff
I didn’t want anything to do with that

You knew how I felt

About drugs
About you

Things changed from that time on
You became
Different
It wasn’t you anymore
I found it harder to find you as each new day passed

I didn’t want to leave
Our life
Our love
But you made me
Or maybe it wasn’t you

I had lost the only thing I had ever
Truly
Wanted

Everything I have tried to replace that with
Has never been the same

When you found me more than a year later
Begging me for help
I couldn’t ignore the trouble you were in

I helped
Gave you every saving I had
Down to the very last cent

You promised to pay your debt
To get help

Maybe it was my fault
For not doing it myself
For trusting you
And being ignorant to your state

You seemed to want out so much

All it took was that
One last hit bought by you
Out of my very pocket…

…I couldn’t watch them
Bury you
I couldn’t deal with the
Reality
That the money I gave you
Was the same money that paid for your
Death

In a way
It was me who killed you

On that day
I lost all my faith
My trust
My self respect
My hope

It’s been nearly
Sixteen years now
And you are still my
Biggest secret
My greatest heartache
My largest hurdle
My heart
My fear

Wherever you are
Know if you can

I think about you nearly every day

And still I cry…

ONE PACK OF LIFESTYLES AND TWELVE BOXES OF NO-DOZ THANKS…

[re-post]

It happens every now and again, you turn around to find that you have suddenly and mysteriously become an “option” for the bedding of the opposite sex. From zero to 100 in three flat seconds, fasten your racing harness and prepare for the “cocktailish” variety that suddenly awaits your tasting attentions.
Continue reading ONE PACK OF LIFESTYLES AND TWELVE BOXES OF NO-DOZ THANKS…

Vampires in the Night of Their Hearts

[re-posted]

Stretching the bounds
Of the singled
Friendship they
Both hold so dear
He wants so much
To tear his heart
From his chest
And stomp it into
An oblivion that would
Cease to allow it
The feelings it so
Endures
He cowers in an
Imaginary corner
Fearing the loss that
Seems so inevitable in
The current light
A light of moon
Constant
Where shadows dance
Anonymously about
Like emotions confused
As to their purpose
He can’t lose her friendship
As he can’t lose his
Own life
Despite his own life seeming
Far more irrelevant
In importance
The scope of matters
The hidden
A respectful depart
Of his most normal
Satire
She should be honoured
By this
Yet he should not
Expect that honour
And so he doesn’t
Instead
Desiring only the
Immortality of the
Friendship they have
Created
They
Together
Shall forever remain
Vampires in the dark night
Of their hearts